Self Defense - A Personal History

When I told the momma of Little Joe's best friend that I wanted to treat myself to a self defense course now that I have a job and am making decent money, she laughed.* When I told my co-worker I was going to enroll in a self defense class, she asked "Why?"

This is the world we live in. A male member of my family was physically abusive to his wife and son. My pediatric dentist was convicted of molesting children while they were under laughing gas. My high school drama teacher and musical theater teacher were both convicted for having sexual relationships with their students. Two of the priests at my brother's all boys Catholic high school were 'removed' from his school for molesting students.

In the nice safe Vancouver's west end, where I lived while I was in art school, there was a rapist, who raped two women on my block before he was caught. In my art school English class, the male teacher fondled my face and neck when I arrived at class early one day. I reported him to the school administration, but nothing was done about it. So I just stopped going to that class and never got my degree. When I was eighteen and living in London, late one night, walking home after I missed the last tube, I stupidly got into a van when a man offered me a ride. He drove into a dark alley and luckily I was able to leap out and run for my life. On Fifth Avenue in New York, a man followed me closely for ten blocks muttering obscenities about what he was going to do to me until I ran into a restaurant for help. While in art school I dated a guy one time, then had a bad feeling about him and refused to go out with him again. We crossed paths on the street one evening after I just had a date with someone else. He began screaming at me that I'd used him and yelled threats until I jumped on a bus and got away.

When I lived in Paris, I had an obscene phone caller who called me every night. When I began disconnecting the phone at night, he started calling me during the day, every hour of the day. It didn't stop until I had my phone number changed. When I lived in Park Slope, I also had a persistent obscene phone caller and again had to have my number changed.

In a small town in Italy, after my girlfriend and I accepted the invitation of two men we met at a bar to take us out, they drove to a house in the middle of nowhere and raped my friend. Another one of my good friends was raped twice. The first time was a gang rape. In my nice safe neighbourhood of Park Slope/Prospect Heights a female neighbour was mugged five times in five years. A Bed-Stuy female neighbour had been contacted by a girl online asking if our neighbourhood was a safe place to live. She told her that she'd never had any problems. Then when the girl came out here to look at an apartment for rent, she was ambushed by a gang of teenage girls and mugged. One of our female housemates was mugged by two teenage boys, another female housemate was nearly raped. The block next to the elementary school my son is zoned for in Bed-Stuy has the most sexual offenders living next to it in all of New York.

My mother works for the Rape Crisis center - she sees examples of violent crimes against women every single day. I fear for my safety, my child's safety, the safety of my friends. Why would any woman want to learn to defend herself? Good question, ha ha.

*9/29/09 She has since told me that she didn't laugh to mock me, but because that it was sad that something so important had to be a 'treat.'